My Triumph

Tomorrow morning I will triumph victoriously over one of my worst demons. My fear. My fear is that I'm not good enough or that I will fail. Knowing full well that skill and capability are not an issue. Tomorrow being afraid of not measuring up to someone's standard's, or fear of failure are not a possibility. Confusing? YES! Contradictory? YES

Tomorrow is the day, I'm going to the golf course and trying out for the golf team. Having sabotaged tournaments, tryouts, matches, q-school opportunities. That all stops Now. The power of NOW is my inspiration. With my head held high, and my eye on the cup. I walk powerfully into the light of the unknown. All I know is that at the end of tomorrow, victory or not, I did the best I could and had the best possible frame of mind going into it.

Goodnight and farewell. Tomorrow is a new day.

Naked In My Surroundings

Do you ever feel those days when something just isn't right.

I'm not talking about the part in you hair.

With your dealings with everyone,

Something feels off.

The funny thing is, it doesn't take much.

Be it with my friends, or with a cute girl.

Yesterday things were off.

I feel naked in my surroundings.

Is it that I miss the greatest friend a guy could have?

Or is it that my cohort is melancholy dreary?

Possibly missing my idol, my sister?

Today I am naked in my surroundings.

My GOOD DAY!!!

Today is a good day! Today I smell like sweat, nice stinky sweat. This isn't the type of sweat from a hot summers day. The scent I am wearing today is MAN. For the first time in 4 months I got some exercise!!!

It may have lasted for only 30 minutes, because I am unfortunately still injured, inactivity will be my main activity for the next three months. However, the point remains, my brain is full of positive endorphins. YAY FOR ME.

A GOOD DAY...NO A GRRRRREAT DAY!

(photographer unknown)

My Best Friend..

The Greatest Guy On Earth

• His name is Joe
• He is authentic
• He is humble
• He is loving
• He is jacked like a Jaguar
• He is Athletic
• He is empathetic
• He is understanding
• He is Fun
• No He is a RIOT
• He is a long long long way from home
• He isn't around
• He is funny
• He is the best drinking partner ever
• He is my brother
• He is proverbially "THE MAN"
• He watches only the best T.V. ever
• He has a girlfriend who doesn't treat him as she should
• He has tough decisions

My Depression...

I'm in a funk, I've lost my creative inspiration. Where has it gone? When will it come back? What causes this writers block?

When will I be able to play sports again? When will I find myself? When I think about the things I love they seem out of reach and untouchable. I long for a run, a skate, a workout. My muscles are fading into a state of atrophy. I see myself in the mirror, my body is reminiscent of a cancer patients. Nothing of what it used to be while active and training everyday.

Endorphins...

I call this photo Jesus in my arms. Don't ask me why

Quotes...

Love is when you think about someone every day.

-Charlie

My House...

I have three new roommates. As Cameron and I say, "We're batting .500" (Sports Terminology). Two of our roommates are gay. I'm neither homophobic or uncomfortable around them. My hometown is very accepting of all walks of life.

Growing up, my father raised me under "Saskatchewan Rule", this means everyone stands up for those who can't or won't. In my building we have these young punks who call themselves "406" who still have the grade 12 high school mentality.

There have been numerous complaints about smoking in the building, among other things. However, last night a group of my girlfriends and I chose to go to the gay bar and go dancing. Coming back into our building, a pack of eight or ten of them is standing outside smoking and chooses to start chirping me about going to the gay bar. How would they know we went?

I'm a lover not a fighter, I have poetry on my bedside table. BUT, and this is a resounding BUT. GAY BASHING IS INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL. Had I a couple of able bodied friends, excuse my language, we would have beat the shit out of those kids, and enforced "Saskatchewan Rule". Don't mess with my house. There are only so many shenanigans they are aloud to pull on my floor before someone needs to put them in their place and remind them they aren't in high school any more and we're adults.

I'm sorry for the angry post but! I needed to vent

English Lit!!

Alrighty, school is in full swing I'm dreading the amount of socializing that is going on around me. However I'm extremely excited about the novels I get to read this semester.

1.Little House On The Prairie, this was my favorite book as a child. So much so, that I named my childhood stuffed bear Almonzo.

2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

3.Pride and Prejudice Zombie by Seth Grahame-Smith

4.Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safron Foer

5.The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

6.Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie

7.My Heart Laid Bare by Joyce Carol Oates

Man o Man I can't describe how much I'm going to enjoy analyzing these novels. It is a truly tantlyzing thought. Well it is very early in the AM and I can't articulate anything right now. I'm having serious problems keeping my peepers peeled. Nighty Night

My New Love

Having not written much of late because of feeling a lack of inspiration. I assume it is because of my foreign surroundings. Finally I am settled down in my new home. Today I would like to talk about love.

Love is one of those magical things that is a heart warming experience. When I experience love, nothing else in this world matters. I will do absolutely anything and everything for that person.

Recently I fell head over heals for my new niece Pearla Von Macalister. My first time meeting her was a heartbreaking experience. My uncle and I are almost identical, so our best conclusion was because we look the same, sound the same, smell the same; is that young Pearla was confused about who I was. A man that looked like daddy but wasn't quite daddy. Everytime I even came near this precious star, disaster struck. At times it would take her an hour to calm down.

Needless to say, I pushed through the heart breaking experience of having a three month old baby cry at my very presence, and persisted until she got to know me. After 3 days of crying, I picked up my favorite niece and all I saw where these adorable blue eyes beaming up at me.

No love is as powerful as an infants love. No judging, NO bias, Trust...Don't you just adore her blue eyes?

Out of Element

I'm not sure what this feeling is? I have what seems like ten thousand different emotions flooding through my body. My heart is raining, My head is spinning.

Could it be these new hallways, so foreign yet so friendly. Could it be a new crush? Are those butterflies what is giving me troubles? Or is it the heart left in another land?

Whatever it is, I feel overwhelmed with things that I need to get done and have to complete. Every day is a new day. But, a new day with a best friend is a better day.

Quotes...

There Must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.

-Sylvia Plath

(Photo of Fikacek not by me...i wish)