Merry Christmas

Today is christmas day and I have been without a computer for close to two months! Half because I felt like I was too tied to technology and the half because my wonderful mac had critical hard drive problems. Now that I'm back and school is over for the moment I have time to catch up on my life that has developed in ways that I would never have imagined. I look foreward to writing about my realizations about life, school and myself...

Merry Christmas to all of my family and my friends who are living abroad.

Love D

My Broken Computer...

Sadly not much progress has been made in the past few weeks on anything that has to do with my computer. The hard drive is failing, forever thinking and spinning like my somedays useless brain. I have one last trick up my sleeve in an attempt to revive life from a dying compadre in order to develop more pictures.

This year I plan on becoming more computer savy in an attempt to spend half as much time tooling around and accomplish twice as much.

Missing You...

What is it about missing you that I love so much,

Do I love it or do I hate it?

I hope you have let go because I haven't,

I miss picking your hairs off of my sweater after having a sleep over,

I miss receiving texts in class...I miss you,

I miss that look in your eyes that told me I was the only one for you,

Your the only girl who has said I love you in french,

Your the one with a soft heart,

Your the one that meant the most,

( Images via Restartmyheart)

Skinny Love

Come on skinny love just last the year

Pour a little salt we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Right in the moment this order’s tall

I told you to be patient

I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced

I told you to be kind

In the morning I’ll be with you

But it will be a different “Kind”

I’ll be holding all the tickets

And you’ll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here

Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient

I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced

I told you to be kind

Now all your love is wasted?

Then who the hell was I?

Now I’m breakig at the britches

And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Who will fall far behind?

(Lyrics By Bon Iver, and photos restartmyheart)

For The Future...

With my family calling and visiting me lately, It is hard not to look back at the last year of my life. I think about best friends and lost love. Some of those were the best of times and others the worst. Why does it seem like looking behind is easier than looking ahead?

This summer was glorious, hanging out with the best friends a guy could ever ask for. Johe, Matti, White Whale, they are my rocks. But still, I miss the loves of the past. For me love is rare, I fantasize about creating it out of thin air. In reality love is whimsical, sometimes it serendipitously pops out of thin air, and other times can take years to develop.

The best possible thing for me is not to focus on where I am or want to be, but live in the now. Every day take a picture of something beautiful, write a story, and read a textbook. Tomorrow will come soon enough...

Quotes...

(Picture Via uvic.com)

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career, I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over in my life. And that's why I succeed!" - Michael Jordan

FOTO LOVE

And a good day to you. My name is David currently I am an amateur photographer with professional writing/photoging aspirations. Taking pictures is something that I love and would like to think is something that I can share with the world. Hopefully through my lens I can capture moments that will create lifelong memories. There is so much beauty in the world that deserves attention. Whether it be two children playing together or the exultation on the face of someone playing sports, there is beauty in every moment. It is my job and duty to capture such moments.

Fortunately I have a great set of friends who aren't ever shy of the lens.

Thanks to the girls for all the great shots!!

My Competition...

At the current moment I love two things,

A) To take pictures and B) To compete in sports.

At the current time I'm still unable to compete, albeit; I dream about it day and night. To dawn the colors representing my country is the ultimate honor an athlete can achieve, besides standing on the podium with a medal in hand. Nothing I have done to date compares to the thrill and anticipation of a race or a game. Facing off against another fierce competitor, it all comes down to who is better prepared for battle. Unfortunately I have a ways to go yet before I am recovered and can begin my full-time training. I live in a city that revolves around sport. My heart and my desires lie in my ability to perform.

Today, tomorrow, and everyday forthwith I will be competing with myself to learn self-control. When I should lay down the racquet, take of the skates, pass on a beer...

The day I master my self control is the day I become unstoppable. That is the same day I don't let my meager social life impede the reason I'm here on earth. The hardest thing in life is separating the things we think matter, and choosing to stay focused on our goals. Countless times I find myself getting lost in my own sorrow and feeling sorry for myself.

My Best Friend...Gone...

The greatest man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting has chosen to move back home. Normally this would be a small thing, I could either hop on a train or a plane and see him in a matter of hours. NO, he lives thousands of miles away, where the chocolate is pure and the watches are gold.

All day I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Having spent two previous nights with him, we had many deep conversations about life an where we are supposed to be. Having been traveling to Canada for 7 years and living here full time he has built something of a life with his company, he now feels its time to move on and find his calling.

I've never met someone who will sit and listen to my woes just for the sake of listening and letting me vent. He is incredibly honest, sensitive, and a truly remarkable character. My man now lives 7,439km away. That is a long way, my heart drops every time I think of the space between us. I know that our friendship is strong enough that this bond will not weaken.

I plan on knowing him for the rest of my life.

Next year we will travel into the mists of Avalon riding Majestic steeds side by side.

Did we just become best friends?, YUP, Do you wanna go practice karate in the garage?, YUP!

I love you JO

Stolen

This morning I was inspired by a fellow blogger extraordinaire. Some days I wake up feeing terribly lonely. Excluding the best friends in the world, and a supremely supportive family. Something is still missing in my life.

My new surroundings have been hospitable at times, yet extremely hostile at othe; however, my place in life is exactly how it should be, neither in the past nor the future. Wherever I am, is the place that I am meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, figuring out that purpose is the wonderful part about being alive.

Ask yourself a couple of questions.

1. What is you purpose today.

2. Who are your confidants

3. What will I be thankful for today.

Lastly....I need to go for some photo excursions because I'm so low on usable photos that I'm going to steal from Restart My Heart

My Dirty Pleasure...

When most people think of dirty pleasures, sweets, booze, cigarettes, any number of things come to mind. My dirty pleasure is the climbing wall. Knowing full well that I have at least 3 more months of rehab before I may make a full return to sports, I still went for another workout this morning.

I fear that if this becomes an epidemic I will set back recovery even further. Self-control is a virtue I must learn.

The all to familiar feeling of chalk clogging my pores and the snug fitting shoes, I ambled around a few bouldering problems this morning. After half an hour climbing, and a little exploring I stepped further into the gym and did a couple of plyos, reminding me of how much I miss training with Pep.

I have a thing for sounds, the sound of snow crunching under my skis, ice cutting under my blades, the clanking of carabiners, the endless hum of tires meeting concrete under my bike. These are a few of the things I miss the most. I welcome christmas with open arms, that Is the day I return to "REAL sports".

Affirmation

A fear was conquered today, if only for the shortest of times. This morning I woke up went for a warmup bike ride and ironed my clothes and set out to the golf course. Having been slimed by the school golf coach who was resisting giving my a fair tryout on his team. I showed up uninvited to his home club, and marketed myself like a true salesman.

Long story short, he saw genius in my madness. Giving me a chance this morning to try out for his team. With my knees shaking, terrified, demons creeping just below my composed exterior I foraged onward. Having not competed in a couple of years my game definitely needs work; however, I performed well enough to warrant a second tryout and a title bout with his top performing aces next week.

Any win at this point is a good win. Joey this ones for you!

AHHH I'M RUNNING OUT OF PICTURES!!!! ARRRRRG!!!!!

My Triumph

Tomorrow morning I will triumph victoriously over one of my worst demons. My fear. My fear is that I'm not good enough or that I will fail. Knowing full well that skill and capability are not an issue. Tomorrow being afraid of not measuring up to someone's standard's, or fear of failure are not a possibility. Confusing? YES! Contradictory? YES

Tomorrow is the day, I'm going to the golf course and trying out for the golf team. Having sabotaged tournaments, tryouts, matches, q-school opportunities. That all stops Now. The power of NOW is my inspiration. With my head held high, and my eye on the cup. I walk powerfully into the light of the unknown. All I know is that at the end of tomorrow, victory or not, I did the best I could and had the best possible frame of mind going into it.

Goodnight and farewell. Tomorrow is a new day.

Naked In My Surroundings

Do you ever feel those days when something just isn't right.

I'm not talking about the part in you hair.

With your dealings with everyone,

Something feels off.

The funny thing is, it doesn't take much.

Be it with my friends, or with a cute girl.

Yesterday things were off.

I feel naked in my surroundings.

Is it that I miss the greatest friend a guy could have?

Or is it that my cohort is melancholy dreary?

Possibly missing my idol, my sister?

Today I am naked in my surroundings.

My GOOD DAY!!!

Today is a good day! Today I smell like sweat, nice stinky sweat. This isn't the type of sweat from a hot summers day. The scent I am wearing today is MAN. For the first time in 4 months I got some exercise!!!

It may have lasted for only 30 minutes, because I am unfortunately still injured, inactivity will be my main activity for the next three months. However, the point remains, my brain is full of positive endorphins. YAY FOR ME.

A GOOD DAY...NO A GRRRRREAT DAY!

(photographer unknown)

My Best Friend..

The Greatest Guy On Earth

• His name is Joe
• He is authentic
• He is humble
• He is loving
• He is jacked like a Jaguar
• He is Athletic
• He is empathetic
• He is understanding
• He is Fun
• No He is a RIOT
• He is a long long long way from home
• He isn't around
• He is funny
• He is the best drinking partner ever
• He is my brother
• He is proverbially "THE MAN"
• He watches only the best T.V. ever
• He has a girlfriend who doesn't treat him as she should
• He has tough decisions

My Depression...

I'm in a funk, I've lost my creative inspiration. Where has it gone? When will it come back? What causes this writers block?

When will I be able to play sports again? When will I find myself? When I think about the things I love they seem out of reach and untouchable. I long for a run, a skate, a workout. My muscles are fading into a state of atrophy. I see myself in the mirror, my body is reminiscent of a cancer patients. Nothing of what it used to be while active and training everyday.

Endorphins...

I call this photo Jesus in my arms. Don't ask me why

Quotes...

Love is when you think about someone every day.

-Charlie

My House...

I have three new roommates. As Cameron and I say, "We're batting .500" (Sports Terminology). Two of our roommates are gay. I'm neither homophobic or uncomfortable around them. My hometown is very accepting of all walks of life.

Growing up, my father raised me under "Saskatchewan Rule", this means everyone stands up for those who can't or won't. In my building we have these young punks who call themselves "406" who still have the grade 12 high school mentality.

There have been numerous complaints about smoking in the building, among other things. However, last night a group of my girlfriends and I chose to go to the gay bar and go dancing. Coming back into our building, a pack of eight or ten of them is standing outside smoking and chooses to start chirping me about going to the gay bar. How would they know we went?

I'm a lover not a fighter, I have poetry on my bedside table. BUT, and this is a resounding BUT. GAY BASHING IS INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL. Had I a couple of able bodied friends, excuse my language, we would have beat the shit out of those kids, and enforced "Saskatchewan Rule". Don't mess with my house. There are only so many shenanigans they are aloud to pull on my floor before someone needs to put them in their place and remind them they aren't in high school any more and we're adults.

I'm sorry for the angry post but! I needed to vent

English Lit!!

Alrighty, school is in full swing I'm dreading the amount of socializing that is going on around me. However I'm extremely excited about the novels I get to read this semester.

1.Little House On The Prairie, this was my favorite book as a child. So much so, that I named my childhood stuffed bear Almonzo.

2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

3.Pride and Prejudice Zombie by Seth Grahame-Smith

4.Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safron Foer

5.The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

6.Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie

7.My Heart Laid Bare by Joyce Carol Oates

Man o Man I can't describe how much I'm going to enjoy analyzing these novels. It is a truly tantlyzing thought. Well it is very early in the AM and I can't articulate anything right now. I'm having serious problems keeping my peepers peeled. Nighty Night

My New Love

Having not written much of late because of feeling a lack of inspiration. I assume it is because of my foreign surroundings. Finally I am settled down in my new home. Today I would like to talk about love.

Love is one of those magical things that is a heart warming experience. When I experience love, nothing else in this world matters. I will do absolutely anything and everything for that person.

Recently I fell head over heals for my new niece Pearla Von Macalister. My first time meeting her was a heartbreaking experience. My uncle and I are almost identical, so our best conclusion was because we look the same, sound the same, smell the same; is that young Pearla was confused about who I was. A man that looked like daddy but wasn't quite daddy. Everytime I even came near this precious star, disaster struck. At times it would take her an hour to calm down.

Needless to say, I pushed through the heart breaking experience of having a three month old baby cry at my very presence, and persisted until she got to know me. After 3 days of crying, I picked up my favorite niece and all I saw where these adorable blue eyes beaming up at me.

No love is as powerful as an infants love. No judging, NO bias, Trust...Don't you just adore her blue eyes?

Out of Element

I'm not sure what this feeling is? I have what seems like ten thousand different emotions flooding through my body. My heart is raining, My head is spinning.

Could it be these new hallways, so foreign yet so friendly. Could it be a new crush? Are those butterflies what is giving me troubles? Or is it the heart left in another land?

Whatever it is, I feel overwhelmed with things that I need to get done and have to complete. Every day is a new day. But, a new day with a best friend is a better day.

Quotes...

There Must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.

-Sylvia Plath

(Photo of Fikacek not by me...i wish)

Muse

September is finally here. That means a number of things in my world, new released music artists, House M.D. and school. Although For Emma, Forever Ago and The Script are my two favorite albums of the year, a new batch of music is coming out very soon.

Muse is releasing their new album on The Resistance. After enjoying international success with its watershed album, 2006's Black Holes and Revelations, Muse returned to the studio with exponentially increased expectations. The result is the band's eagerly anticipated new album, The Resistance. I find it strange to think that they could ever change the theme song from Dr.Who as the original is a classic. But, a new age and new times. Please preview this album on iTunes.

Again, I have to stress on how AWESOME The Script is. Their one year debut anniversary is coming up. WAHOOOO.

Dreaming...

I could smell your hair, I could touch you,

Your perfect blue eyes sparkling, Talking

to me, my heart melts.

Raindrops falling from the sky, seamlessly

slowing to cessation,

My world grows warm,

I'm in love.

At dawn, Gulls squawking

I roll over to kiss you,

Dismayed I discover tis not you I lay beside.

Longing, wishing to roll back time

I had a dream....

(Bottom pic from restart my heart)

Poems...

If you dissect a bird

to diagram the tongue,

you'll cut the chord

articulating song.

If you flay a beast

to marvel at the mane,

you'll wreck the rest

from which the fur began.

If you assault a fish

to analyse the fin,

your hands will crush

the generating bone.

If you pluck out my heart

to find what makes it move,

you'll halt the clock

that syncopates our love.

Sylvia Plath

(Picture from Restart My Heart)

Calling My Soul

Some days I awake with a feeling that I'm missing something. As if I have a hole in my toes and the very essence of my being is leaking out. The black sand leaking out shimmers with tiny diamonds catching the light dazzling my sight.

My heart is unfulfilled like a sugar craving gone wrong, or a poorly received hug. My over active, over analytical brain hums like a computer plowing through files searching for glitches. I'm fine, there is nothing wrong, but lots missing.

A calling is the sense that you are on this earth for a reason, that you have a destiny, no matter how great or small. A calling is a sensation or intuition that life wants something from you. I can give meaning to the smallest acts and helps create a strong identity. If you have a reason for being, you don't feel entirely aimless. You know who you are and what to do.

I have a calling, there is something missing in my life. I must always follow my passions, which are, writing, photos, children, and making a difference.

Tomorrow is a new day, if I can do three things every day towards reaching my goals, in one year I will have taken 1,095 steps towards my wildest dreams.

My Inspiration for this piece was Thomas Moore. I took this picture specifically to symbolize where or how I think my life will lead me.

Quotes...

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things and one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

-Plath

Peter's Books

Today was book day. I traveled into a used bookstore which I have never been to before. As soon the door swings shut and the bell chimes, my nostrils are overpowered by that musty smokey smell that inhabits all used book stores. I feel like I have jumped into a time machine.

The owner of the store eyes me suspiciously, I know full well that he is only protecting his books. He kindly directs me towards the literature section which is full of authors I have never heard of before. I have become obsessed with literature and poetry lately in hopes of developing my writing.

As I wander aimlessly through stack after stack I find Joyce Carol Oates. Every review and jacket overview inspires me. I land on My Heart Laid Bare a story about deception and love. The shops proprietor curiously buzzes about putting books away and opens up conversation as to how he may assist me.

Poetry is the main reason for my visit to his emporium of knowledge. I now have a new friend (Peter) as well as a bag full of poetry (Coleridge, Eliot, Plath, and Updike). Peter talks about books with the love and passion of a voracious reader. He kept muttering under his breath about a lost book and how it has run away from him. I can't help but imagine how his store comes to life at night. Books running around with little legs and Peter chasing after them forever alphabetizing.

After having left, I am again of the mind that English literature is a degree of interest. I love how when I read a good book I can't put it down, hours of my weekly life are spent deeply immersed in novels. I would love to spend my life taking pictures and writing about glamour and love.

This is my journey,

Minute to minute, day to day,

The sun rises and the sun sets.

Unbelievable....

I'm on my way to bed and a friend sent me an email to this link....Danyl Johnson's performance at x-factor. This is unbelievable, a quiet unassuming school teacher turns out to be a complete tiger onstage.

I have goosebumps all over my body. WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!! Simon Cowel actually stood up for a standing ovation.

Blue Blue Sky

I want you to close your eyes, Visualize my day, and how happy this makes me.

Waking up to the smell of fresh rose petals,

Pretty pink roses from my garden,

Cleaning my room out of all the clutter that just needs to go,

A brisk heart pounding walk to the bank,

Mr.Macalister your financially in good standing,

The elephant stamps defiantly and begrudgingly leaves my chest,

The blue blue sky washes over my red shoulders,

The much hated Telus sign above the tellers head,

Mr.Macalister Telus is no longer your telephone Carrier,

Whoever said there aren't perfect days.....SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

Tonight your mine, Completely

You give your love so sweetly,

Tonight the light of love is in your eyes

But will you love me tomorrow

Is this a lasting treasure

Or just a moment's pleasure

Can I believe the magic of your sight

Will you still love me tomorrow

Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken

When the night meets the morning sun

I'd like to know that your love

Is a love I can be sure of

So tell me now and I won't ask again

Will you still love me tomorrow

Will you still love me tomorrow

-Carol King

My Nemesis...

Today was a strange day. I bonded, I really need you to get this, I bonded with my nemesis. There is this lady I work with, and everything she does annoys me. It doesn't matter what she does there are just some people who you don't see eye to eye with.

Yesterday at work was particularly scorching and she was complaining to have a break and get some water. I could tell she was having a rough time but couldn't do anything about it and wasn't that worried about her. I went into another room for a couple of seconds to do a side task. Upon re-entering I find her balling her eyes out with two customers standing beside her flabbergasted. Between her tears and hiccups she splutters d-d-d-d-avid will you please watch the front for me?

Sometime later she approaches me in tears, sobbing, and thanking me for being there for her. All I could do was hug, and tell her everything was going to be alright. After some seemingly minor consoling she walked off a much happier camper.

In short it felt like a connection had been made with someone who I have never liked. This afternoon I was walking past her and she said, "I'll miss you when you are gone".

The feeling was foreign and incredible. Was that two foes becoming friends? With a little empathy and a little caring, I don't see why everyone can't get along.

Impending Maturity

Over the last couple of years my quest to find "myself", as well as become mature and avoid becoming my father, has taken me to different countries, seminars, friends. I've been looking for a catalyst in my life that would help me expediate that process. It comes in the shape of text books. Finally, I have been accepted to a full university and get to follow in the footsteps of each and every member of my family.

I wonder, how will I measure up in 4 years time? Will I want to pursue an MBA like my father? I doubt it. I want to design gardens and parks in North America that are so abundant in Europe and even South America. We lack the character and heritage that those older cultures have.

I'm terrified of taking this step to a new school. I think it is more a fear of the unknown, than apprehension of having to put myself out there and build a new life. I'm truly excited to have a new start. I get to create myself to be whoever I want. No one will have any preconceived ideas of who I am or who I am supposed to be. This is my chance to become the person of my dreams.

As for what do I want to study right now? I have no idea I think that the fact that I'm in school is enough. I will figure out what I want along the way. I would love to take literature, I love reading, love literature, and writing. If I have it my way I would be a glamour photographer/Writer/Landscape Architect. Thats quite the career eh?

It is such a shame that english literature is one of the most profound degrees out there yet you can use if for so little, It should be the other way around. Regardless, I'm in both a poetry, and young children's literature course. I can't wait!!

Here is to taking chances, making mistakes, and getting messy.

P.s. Mom/Dad I love you and this would never have been made possible if you were not in my life and the most supportive people I have ever met.

A parents love for their child is unfathomable.

(photo from restart my heart)

Cat N Bunny Love

Sorry You might have to turn off the music before you play this.

This is so adorable. I love animal love. Tear...

MAN TIME!!!

I am man hear me ROAR!!!!! With all of my recent posts about thoughts and feelings, I've left out a key part to who I am. Sports, I would like to take a second to acknowledge one of the greatest sports on the planet. Yes, It is created by Canadians, more importantly was forged into a sport hundreds of years ago by the Natives. LACROSSE.

I grew up playing lacrosse, it taught me sportsmanship, respect, and made me tough.

The boys of summer play baseball and the men of summer play lacrosse. The sport of lacrosse has it all, the speed and power of football and hockey. The endurance, strategy, and agility of soccer and basketball . When I'm on the floor my heart is racing my adrenaline is pumping and I'm in the game. Fighting, scoring, snot bubbling hits, this isn't a game for pansies. This is for men.

(picture from google)

To see what I mean watch a Montage Here

Quotes...

Cymbidium Orchid(photographer not specified)

Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.

-Vincent Van Gough

Chanel Haute Couture 2009

Watch the Spring Summer Show Here. I would also like to direct you towards AMIE ST., this is sony's version of the apple store. You can find songs online for as cheap as 15 cents a song.

(Obviously not my photos, NOT yet at least)