Missing You...

What is it about missing you that I love so much,

Do I love it or do I hate it?

I hope you have let go because I haven't,

I miss picking your hairs off of my sweater after having a sleep over,

I miss receiving texts in class...I miss you,

I miss that look in your eyes that told me I was the only one for you,

Your the only girl who has said I love you in french,

Your the one with a soft heart,

Your the one that meant the most,

( Images via Restartmyheart)

Skinny Love

Come on skinny love just last the year

Pour a little salt we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Right in the moment this order’s tall

I told you to be patient

I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced

I told you to be kind

In the morning I’ll be with you

But it will be a different “Kind”

I’ll be holding all the tickets

And you’ll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here

Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient

I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced

I told you to be kind

Now all your love is wasted?

Then who the hell was I?

Now I’m breakig at the britches

And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Who will fall far behind?

(Lyrics By Bon Iver, and photos restartmyheart)

For The Future...

With my family calling and visiting me lately, It is hard not to look back at the last year of my life. I think about best friends and lost love. Some of those were the best of times and others the worst. Why does it seem like looking behind is easier than looking ahead?

This summer was glorious, hanging out with the best friends a guy could ever ask for. Johe, Matti, White Whale, they are my rocks. But still, I miss the loves of the past. For me love is rare, I fantasize about creating it out of thin air. In reality love is whimsical, sometimes it serendipitously pops out of thin air, and other times can take years to develop.

The best possible thing for me is not to focus on where I am or want to be, but live in the now. Every day take a picture of something beautiful, write a story, and read a textbook. Tomorrow will come soon enough...

My New Love

Having not written much of late because of feeling a lack of inspiration. I assume it is because of my foreign surroundings. Finally I am settled down in my new home. Today I would like to talk about love.

Love is one of those magical things that is a heart warming experience. When I experience love, nothing else in this world matters. I will do absolutely anything and everything for that person.

Recently I fell head over heals for my new niece Pearla Von Macalister. My first time meeting her was a heartbreaking experience. My uncle and I are almost identical, so our best conclusion was because we look the same, sound the same, smell the same; is that young Pearla was confused about who I was. A man that looked like daddy but wasn't quite daddy. Everytime I even came near this precious star, disaster struck. At times it would take her an hour to calm down.

Needless to say, I pushed through the heart breaking experience of having a three month old baby cry at my very presence, and persisted until she got to know me. After 3 days of crying, I picked up my favorite niece and all I saw where these adorable blue eyes beaming up at me.

No love is as powerful as an infants love. No judging, NO bias, Trust...Don't you just adore her blue eyes?

Dreaming...

I could smell your hair, I could touch you,

Your perfect blue eyes sparkling, Talking

to me, my heart melts.

Raindrops falling from the sky, seamlessly

slowing to cessation,

My world grows warm,

I'm in love.

At dawn, Gulls squawking

I roll over to kiss you,

Dismayed I discover tis not you I lay beside.

Longing, wishing to roll back time

I had a dream....

(Bottom pic from restart my heart)

Poems...

If you dissect a bird

to diagram the tongue,

you'll cut the chord

articulating song.

If you flay a beast

to marvel at the mane,

you'll wreck the rest

from which the fur began.

If you assault a fish

to analyse the fin,

your hands will crush

the generating bone.

If you pluck out my heart

to find what makes it move,

you'll halt the clock

that syncopates our love.

Sylvia Plath

(Picture from Restart My Heart)

Cat N Bunny Love

Sorry You might have to turn off the music before you play this.

This is so adorable. I love animal love. Tear...

My Idol

My Idol,

My Idol isn't rich nor is she famous (except in her own mind). In the past I would have said "I abhor this woman", over time and maturing I've grown to love her irrevocably. This woman is my sister.

As a young boy I always idealized her skills on the field as well as in the classroom. Years after she had left high school I was just beginning. It seemed to me that every teacher had an expectation that I would live up to my sister's legacy.

Whether at home with her hubby and kidoodle, at the office, or helping me out with my problems, she does so with the utmost grace. I'm proud to call my sister the closest family member I have ever had and the person I most want to be like.

Top 5 things I love about my sister.

1.I love that She is beautiful.

2.I love that she is smart.

3.I love that she is generous with her advice.

4.I love that I am always welcome at her place.

5.I love that my sister loves me

Best of Intentions

My heart is racing, my blood is pumping, my heart is hollow and I have butterflies ricocheting around my stomach. My head is spinning and going crazy. What is on my mind is, how and why relatonships go wrong. Who am I as a person, that lets them get to a point where the relationship is unworkable, irreparable, damaged, and broken.

Me, myself, I don't think I'm a bad person, vindictive, dangerous or out to hurt anyone. I get confused, lost, and panic.

My major fault as a lover, companion, and trusted partner, is I get selfish. Somehow, somewhere along the course of romance I get lost. I tend to forget why we are together, I get to comfortable with what is and don't pay attention to what could be or

should be.

I'm supposed to be romantic, and a gentleman (I pride myself with that). I write love letters, I give flower, I give gifts from the heart, I'll cuddle to your hearts delight, I actually listen and remember important events and details....but I'm selfish. I lose myself in my own life and forget what my purpose is. Is that fair to you? NO!

Women deserve to better. But, what is better? Is better a fairy tail (which I happen to believe in) that only exists in the many chick flicks that I pore over? How can I grow to be the man of your dreams? The man who is worthy of your love, or better yet a man worth getting

to know.

Will I end every relationship with you despised or even repulsed by the very thought of me? I think NOT. This is in my control. With the passing of every relationship i seem to buff up a part of my essence and soul. Forever and ever hoping that the next time I will be chivalrous and remember all of these thoughts I am having right now. That, I will be the right man for her. Romantic,Strong, Confident, Passionate, Intimate, Humble. Those are all traits I aspire for.

The next one will be the one... All I ever have is the best of intentions

-Man In Red