Muse

September is finally here. That means a number of things in my world, new released music artists, House M.D. and school. Although For Emma, Forever Ago and The Script are my two favorite albums of the year, a new batch of music is coming out very soon.

Muse is releasing their new album on The Resistance. After enjoying international success with its watershed album, 2006's Black Holes and Revelations, Muse returned to the studio with exponentially increased expectations. The result is the band's eagerly anticipated new album, The Resistance. I find it strange to think that they could ever change the theme song from Dr.Who as the original is a classic. But, a new age and new times. Please preview this album on iTunes.

Again, I have to stress on how AWESOME The Script is. Their one year debut anniversary is coming up. WAHOOOO.

Dreaming...

I could smell your hair, I could touch you,

Your perfect blue eyes sparkling, Talking

to me, my heart melts.

Raindrops falling from the sky, seamlessly

slowing to cessation,

My world grows warm,

I'm in love.

At dawn, Gulls squawking

I roll over to kiss you,

Dismayed I discover tis not you I lay beside.

Longing, wishing to roll back time

I had a dream....

(Bottom pic from restart my heart)

Poems...

If you dissect a bird

to diagram the tongue,

you'll cut the chord

articulating song.

If you flay a beast

to marvel at the mane,

you'll wreck the rest

from which the fur began.

If you assault a fish

to analyse the fin,

your hands will crush

the generating bone.

If you pluck out my heart

to find what makes it move,

you'll halt the clock

that syncopates our love.

Sylvia Plath

(Picture from Restart My Heart)

Calling My Soul

Some days I awake with a feeling that I'm missing something. As if I have a hole in my toes and the very essence of my being is leaking out. The black sand leaking out shimmers with tiny diamonds catching the light dazzling my sight.

My heart is unfulfilled like a sugar craving gone wrong, or a poorly received hug. My over active, over analytical brain hums like a computer plowing through files searching for glitches. I'm fine, there is nothing wrong, but lots missing.

A calling is the sense that you are on this earth for a reason, that you have a destiny, no matter how great or small. A calling is a sensation or intuition that life wants something from you. I can give meaning to the smallest acts and helps create a strong identity. If you have a reason for being, you don't feel entirely aimless. You know who you are and what to do.

I have a calling, there is something missing in my life. I must always follow my passions, which are, writing, photos, children, and making a difference.

Tomorrow is a new day, if I can do three things every day towards reaching my goals, in one year I will have taken 1,095 steps towards my wildest dreams.

My Inspiration for this piece was Thomas Moore. I took this picture specifically to symbolize where or how I think my life will lead me.

Quotes...

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things and one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

-Plath

Peter's Books

Today was book day. I traveled into a used bookstore which I have never been to before. As soon the door swings shut and the bell chimes, my nostrils are overpowered by that musty smokey smell that inhabits all used book stores. I feel like I have jumped into a time machine.

The owner of the store eyes me suspiciously, I know full well that he is only protecting his books. He kindly directs me towards the literature section which is full of authors I have never heard of before. I have become obsessed with literature and poetry lately in hopes of developing my writing.

As I wander aimlessly through stack after stack I find Joyce Carol Oates. Every review and jacket overview inspires me. I land on My Heart Laid Bare a story about deception and love. The shops proprietor curiously buzzes about putting books away and opens up conversation as to how he may assist me.

Poetry is the main reason for my visit to his emporium of knowledge. I now have a new friend (Peter) as well as a bag full of poetry (Coleridge, Eliot, Plath, and Updike). Peter talks about books with the love and passion of a voracious reader. He kept muttering under his breath about a lost book and how it has run away from him. I can't help but imagine how his store comes to life at night. Books running around with little legs and Peter chasing after them forever alphabetizing.

After having left, I am again of the mind that English literature is a degree of interest. I love how when I read a good book I can't put it down, hours of my weekly life are spent deeply immersed in novels. I would love to spend my life taking pictures and writing about glamour and love.

This is my journey,

Minute to minute, day to day,

The sun rises and the sun sets.

Unbelievable....

I'm on my way to bed and a friend sent me an email to this link....Danyl Johnson's performance at x-factor. This is unbelievable, a quiet unassuming school teacher turns out to be a complete tiger onstage.

I have goosebumps all over my body. WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!! Simon Cowel actually stood up for a standing ovation.

Blue Blue Sky

I want you to close your eyes, Visualize my day, and how happy this makes me.

Waking up to the smell of fresh rose petals,

Pretty pink roses from my garden,

Cleaning my room out of all the clutter that just needs to go,

A brisk heart pounding walk to the bank,

Mr.Macalister your financially in good standing,

The elephant stamps defiantly and begrudgingly leaves my chest,

The blue blue sky washes over my red shoulders,

The much hated Telus sign above the tellers head,

Mr.Macalister Telus is no longer your telephone Carrier,

Whoever said there aren't perfect days.....SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!

Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

Tonight your mine, Completely

You give your love so sweetly,

Tonight the light of love is in your eyes

But will you love me tomorrow

Is this a lasting treasure

Or just a moment's pleasure

Can I believe the magic of your sight

Will you still love me tomorrow

Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken

When the night meets the morning sun

I'd like to know that your love

Is a love I can be sure of

So tell me now and I won't ask again

Will you still love me tomorrow

Will you still love me tomorrow

-Carol King

My Nemesis...

Today was a strange day. I bonded, I really need you to get this, I bonded with my nemesis. There is this lady I work with, and everything she does annoys me. It doesn't matter what she does there are just some people who you don't see eye to eye with.

Yesterday at work was particularly scorching and she was complaining to have a break and get some water. I could tell she was having a rough time but couldn't do anything about it and wasn't that worried about her. I went into another room for a couple of seconds to do a side task. Upon re-entering I find her balling her eyes out with two customers standing beside her flabbergasted. Between her tears and hiccups she splutters d-d-d-d-avid will you please watch the front for me?

Sometime later she approaches me in tears, sobbing, and thanking me for being there for her. All I could do was hug, and tell her everything was going to be alright. After some seemingly minor consoling she walked off a much happier camper.

In short it felt like a connection had been made with someone who I have never liked. This afternoon I was walking past her and she said, "I'll miss you when you are gone".

The feeling was foreign and incredible. Was that two foes becoming friends? With a little empathy and a little caring, I don't see why everyone can't get along.

Impending Maturity

Over the last couple of years my quest to find "myself", as well as become mature and avoid becoming my father, has taken me to different countries, seminars, friends. I've been looking for a catalyst in my life that would help me expediate that process. It comes in the shape of text books. Finally, I have been accepted to a full university and get to follow in the footsteps of each and every member of my family.

I wonder, how will I measure up in 4 years time? Will I want to pursue an MBA like my father? I doubt it. I want to design gardens and parks in North America that are so abundant in Europe and even South America. We lack the character and heritage that those older cultures have.

I'm terrified of taking this step to a new school. I think it is more a fear of the unknown, than apprehension of having to put myself out there and build a new life. I'm truly excited to have a new start. I get to create myself to be whoever I want. No one will have any preconceived ideas of who I am or who I am supposed to be. This is my chance to become the person of my dreams.

As for what do I want to study right now? I have no idea I think that the fact that I'm in school is enough. I will figure out what I want along the way. I would love to take literature, I love reading, love literature, and writing. If I have it my way I would be a glamour photographer/Writer/Landscape Architect. Thats quite the career eh?

It is such a shame that english literature is one of the most profound degrees out there yet you can use if for so little, It should be the other way around. Regardless, I'm in both a poetry, and young children's literature course. I can't wait!!

Here is to taking chances, making mistakes, and getting messy.

P.s. Mom/Dad I love you and this would never have been made possible if you were not in my life and the most supportive people I have ever met.

A parents love for their child is unfathomable.

(photo from restart my heart)

Cat N Bunny Love

Sorry You might have to turn off the music before you play this.

This is so adorable. I love animal love. Tear...

MAN TIME!!!

I am man hear me ROAR!!!!! With all of my recent posts about thoughts and feelings, I've left out a key part to who I am. Sports, I would like to take a second to acknowledge one of the greatest sports on the planet. Yes, It is created by Canadians, more importantly was forged into a sport hundreds of years ago by the Natives. LACROSSE.

I grew up playing lacrosse, it taught me sportsmanship, respect, and made me tough.

The boys of summer play baseball and the men of summer play lacrosse. The sport of lacrosse has it all, the speed and power of football and hockey. The endurance, strategy, and agility of soccer and basketball . When I'm on the floor my heart is racing my adrenaline is pumping and I'm in the game. Fighting, scoring, snot bubbling hits, this isn't a game for pansies. This is for men.

(picture from google)

To see what I mean watch a Montage Here

Quotes...

Cymbidium Orchid(photographer not specified)

Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.

-Vincent Van Gough

Chanel Haute Couture 2009

Watch the Spring Summer Show Here. I would also like to direct you towards AMIE ST., this is sony's version of the apple store. You can find songs online for as cheap as 15 cents a song.

(Obviously not my photos, NOT yet at least)

Quotes...

"All our dreams can come true, If we have the courage to pursue them"

-Walt Disney

My Idol

My Idol,

My Idol isn't rich nor is she famous (except in her own mind). In the past I would have said "I abhor this woman", over time and maturing I've grown to love her irrevocably. This woman is my sister.

As a young boy I always idealized her skills on the field as well as in the classroom. Years after she had left high school I was just beginning. It seemed to me that every teacher had an expectation that I would live up to my sister's legacy.

Whether at home with her hubby and kidoodle, at the office, or helping me out with my problems, she does so with the utmost grace. I'm proud to call my sister the closest family member I have ever had and the person I most want to be like.

Top 5 things I love about my sister.

1.I love that She is beautiful.

2.I love that she is smart.

3.I love that she is generous with her advice.

4.I love that I am always welcome at her place.

5.I love that my sister loves me

The Wine of Wines...DUEL!

Duel from Darioush.

I had the pleasure of sharing this bottle with 2 of my closest allies as well as another friend. First off the cola nut and blackberry aromas literally knocked my socks off. The largest bouquet in my entire wine drinking career. I can only compare it to the smell of ammonia, except the wine smells beautifully. The Duel is earthy and chocolate with a cedary long finish. With or without the good company, this was the best wine I have ever tasted.

Vintage:2006 60% Cabernet Sauvignon, 40% Shiraz

New Begginnings

As I sit here, in bed, wrapped up in my cuddly warm blankets. I'm watching felicity, my new (old) t.v. show. It is reminding me of friends and that I'm on the doorstep of a new journey. An adventure I am hesitant to embark on.

My body and soul are wrought with different emotions flowing like a river. Swelling at the banks are my insecurities waiting for the heavy rains to begin flooding the grassy slopes of my composure.

I'm young, perhaps very young, It all depends on your definition of young and how old you are. I seem to be on the brink of a very big transformation. The last 4 years have been tumultuous at best. Every day a new experience, every love an adventure. I seem to think about where I am and what my calling is continuously. What brings me to the drawing board is friends.

Where have they gone? I used to think I was a man of virtue who valued keeping only a small circle of really great friends. It seems while growing up and moving, I have been separated from the ones I love. Friendships have withered, some have broken, and others blend into the background. I miss having those weekly deep chats with a good girlfriend, or goofing off with a great guy friend. As you may have guessed, I usually get along with girls better than boys.

At this time I want to take special notice of a friend I cherish. Once upon a time, when I was down and out and seemingly forsaken by the world. A ravishingly beautiful acquaintance took a chance on a distressed delinquent. I guess you could say I owe her my life. She was and still is a stepping stone to who I have become today. J.F thank you for being there whenever I needed you. I fear we are miles apart in distance but close in heart.

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity spend an afternoon with her and my camera.

Sole Seduction

As an aspiring photographer I frequently stand at chapters in front of the fashion mag rack, poring over picture after picture trying to figure out what techniques both the photographer and model have used.

In my research I think I may have picked up a thing or two about female fashion. I'm straight but not stupid! Christian Louboutin is a legend in the shoe world, perhaps the sexiest acronym in fashion. The little red heals are the emblem of chic year-round. Every glamor goddess should have a pair of those dazzling red heals that were first inspired when Christian stole a models red lipstick and painted the last of her shoes.

"I don't think women only wear high-heels for men. They do it for themselves. It changes the way you walk, The way you approach the world, the speed

is different, the way you move is different. It's a totally different world."- Christian Louboutin

(I apologise to the photographer whos name I don't know.)

To Whom and For What

As the clock strikes midnight, I'm in the middle of another photo editing session. I've been wondering why I started up this blog. Who am I writing it for? And why?

I've come to the conclusion that this is for me. Writing makes me happy, and getting my thoughts out seems to make everything enjoyable knowing I will get to write about it. My pictures are showcased, and have I the opportunity to express myself in a way that people never would have thought possible.

I have chosen to share my writings with a few close family members and select friends. Count yourself worthy if you have been chosen, and have the opportunity to share this experience with me. If you are reading this and don't know me, I hope you find something of value either in my pictures or the thoughts I share.

Am I the forgotten one?

Sun rays flooding through an open window,

Resting in neap tide,

Butterflies on my mind,

I think of you,

I miss you,

I wish it weren't so,

You're gone,

Never to be found,

I am forgotten,

This is how I lay,

Forgotten

(top picture donated by FFFFOUND)

Quotes...

I am far from perfect. But I will be perfect for that imperfect someone who is perfect for me.

-Anonymous

Best of Intentions

My heart is racing, my blood is pumping, my heart is hollow and I have butterflies ricocheting around my stomach. My head is spinning and going crazy. What is on my mind is, how and why relatonships go wrong. Who am I as a person, that lets them get to a point where the relationship is unworkable, irreparable, damaged, and broken.

Me, myself, I don't think I'm a bad person, vindictive, dangerous or out to hurt anyone. I get confused, lost, and panic.

My major fault as a lover, companion, and trusted partner, is I get selfish. Somehow, somewhere along the course of romance I get lost. I tend to forget why we are together, I get to comfortable with what is and don't pay attention to what could be or

should be.

I'm supposed to be romantic, and a gentleman (I pride myself with that). I write love letters, I give flower, I give gifts from the heart, I'll cuddle to your hearts delight, I actually listen and remember important events and details....but I'm selfish. I lose myself in my own life and forget what my purpose is. Is that fair to you? NO!

Women deserve to better. But, what is better? Is better a fairy tail (which I happen to believe in) that only exists in the many chick flicks that I pore over? How can I grow to be the man of your dreams? The man who is worthy of your love, or better yet a man worth getting

to know.

Will I end every relationship with you despised or even repulsed by the very thought of me? I think NOT. This is in my control. With the passing of every relationship i seem to buff up a part of my essence and soul. Forever and ever hoping that the next time I will be chivalrous and remember all of these thoughts I am having right now. That, I will be the right man for her. Romantic,Strong, Confident, Passionate, Intimate, Humble. Those are all traits I aspire for.

The next one will be the one... All I ever have is the best of intentions

-Man In Red

A Grey Day

Today I woke up, stretched and felt at odds with the world around me. I looked outside and saw a dark dreary grey day. I couldn't help but feel as grey inside as it was outside. Regardless, of how I felt in that instant I knew the day would pick up. I would see a smiling child or a happy couple and be reminded of why I am here on this earth.

I got dressed in my most comfortable jeans (khaki Levi's, they fit just right) and in my favorite cowboy shirt. On the outside i was dressed for success....yet still feeling blue.

Looking good feels good, fake it until you make it right?

I throw a new mix onto my ipod and eclectic mix of Bon Iver's for Emma, forever ago (for the lonely), Eminem relapse (for the angry), and finally some Colby Callait (for the happy).

As i walk my usual walk to get to work I'm reminded of how much it feels like fall time. I get a rush of emotion, the sights and smells reminding me of the impending school year. I'm looking forward to it with timid apprehension. Does that even make sense? Well there you have it....It is early August and fall has arrived.

Wedding Season

Wedding season is now in full force, white is the colour of the season. On every smiling face I see, there is a sparkling ring. I look into her eyes and see a sparkle, I know that she is content with life. She has found her match, her soul mate.

What does that all mean for me? Well, it means I need to find someone special to fill all of my new picture frames with. Why didn't I take advantage of that when I had the perfect girl before? How could I have let that slip through my fingers?

However, It now means that I can go shopping. My mind is abuzz with thoughts of new suits, watches, belts, shoes and coats. Is it time to max out the credit card? The smell of new leather is intoxicating. Will I be able to resist a new pair of Kenneth Cole's

or Bostonians? Not likely.

I found the suit that I want to wear here at Banana Republic. A grey herringbone three-piece, sophistication and simplicity is the answer to my daydreams.

Paired up with my Tag Heur Monaco. This is the most amazing time piece I have ever had the pleasure of wearing. My heart races and hands sweat, it feels like holding hands with your sweetheart (i know the feeling but don't have one of those). The alligator leather band is so soft. The piece sits on my wrist and I am invigorated by the his weight. The ultimate buy, only those who appreciate what Tag Heur means, knows how great this watch is.

I haven't bought a new over coat yet. Maybe I will wait until the frost bug bites, until then I'll be dreaming of bomber jackets and pea coats.

(photos are from banana and Tag)

My Object

I have an object, and with this object I believe I can do anything. Its hard, made of plastic shaped like a box. I look in one end and see directly out the other. With this magic box I can capture moments in time. They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

I can't sing, I can't draw, or make music. What I can do is use my magic box to make a different kind of art. With this art I am inspired to wake up every day, find beauty in the little things. A child dropping his ice cream cone, an elderly couple holding hands, or two lovers sharing an embrace.

When the sun sets a beautiful glow is cast across the city inspiring me to spend hours staring into my little box. Hoping, wishing that, in the four hundred times i've pushed that shiny little button, at least on

picture will turn out. And when it does its all worth it.

In Darkness There Is Light

What am I? Why am I? Who am I?

On a daily basis, I ponder what has made me the man I am today? I seem to believe myself to be a mix of man and woman. I come from a family of enthusiastic athletes, all who seem to be a little rough around the edges when concerning feelings or anything of the sort.

I am an anomaly among men in my class. I've played numerous hard hitting sports associated with the creme de la creme of the professional sporting world. Hung with jocks, been a jock. Yet, as I get older I seem to be evolving. Always on a quest to become bigger and better every day, expanding my horizons. I'm not a homosexual, I'm not a pansy, What I am is a living breathing being with feelings, wants and needs.

Having been a narrow minded male (just like all of the rest of them), I want to be more. I don't want to be viewed as ordinary, or run of the mill. I have dreams and aspirations to be extra-ordinary in everything i do.

I find myself wanting to be a better person on a daily basis. What kind of qualities do I want to develop in my skill set. How does the world view me? I feel as if my charismatic extroverted personality blinds people from seeing who I truly am inside.

1.Integrity -Doing what I said I would do when I said I would do it.

2.Being Powerful- Access to power is through communication. Be straight in my communication and take what I get.

3.Being Courageous- Acknowledging my fears and then acting.

4.Being Empathetic- Caring for those I love, listening to them without judgement. Understanding their situation and being of service.

5.Love- I'm a softie at heart, love and be loved

(Top left photo from restartmyheart)

Life is the most confusing part about living....

Life is the most confusing part about living….

What makes life so important? Is it the education we get? Is it the clothes we wear? Is it the people we love? or is it how we choose to conduct ourselves in a daily manner? Who has the right to judge the things I do.

My father? My Mother? My friends?

Is it wrong to want to escape? Leave this complex land for something much simpler? Where you aren’t judged for your education, your success? Is there a land of splendor out there where where they are content with having nothing yet having everything?

Or do I stay here in one spot, go to school, even though I don’t know what I want to do. Exist under another mans wallet where he can pull strings as he pleases, and hold that over the graying light.

Sweden is the answer….yet it is so far away. Paris….my camera my bike and I.

Man In Red

You may be wondering, why am I the Man In Red?

I love red, everything to do with the color. How wonderfully scrumptious a ripe strawberry is, how i feel when i put one of my three red polos, two red dress shirts, two red coats, or three red hats on.

When I wear red I feel unstoppable, I walk down the street with my head held high. Knowing, that at any time the girl of my dreams may walk by. If in that instant I look more confident than I feel, deep down inside, I might have the confidence to say hello, instead I just smile. I'm clawing for the confidence to jump out and scream, hold me, love me, kiss me.

Red is my color...

Red is the color I become when I'm embarrassed, Red is the color I see when I'm furious. Red is the color I feel when I'm in love. Red is the color that makes me gaga.

I am the man in red. I wear red, I live red.